- They can never be alone. An immature person will rely on other people to feel validated, worthy, and complete. Being extroverted or having lots of friends is one thing. That’s not automatically a sign of immaturity. But an immature person will go out of their way to always have someone to distract them. If they are forced to be alone with their own thoughts, they will be so uncomfortable that they have to seek out attention and energy from someone else. Not being able to sit with yourself and enjoy your own company shows that you haven’t developed the maturity to be self-assured and confident in your identity.
- Being addicted to their phone/social media. Again, you have to kind of judge this on a case by case basis. Some people use social media as a means of promoting their art, craft, or business. Some people just enjoy being connected online. What I’m talking about is the individuals who always have their phones in their hand. They won’t engage with the people around them, and instead, they will be obsessively refreshing notifications on 20 different apps. They’re on every platform, they’re obsessed with how many comments or likes or views they can get. Mature people value authentic connections and understand that social media isn’t a replacement for relationships.
- They can never admit they’re wrong or really apologize. Immature people don’t take responsibility for anything. If you bring up something they said or did that hurt you, they’ll give you an excuse or a reason why they did it. They’ll turn the blame around on you to put the focus off of them. They’ll play victim. There’s a million different tactics, but the end result is that they aren’t being accountable for their messed up behavior. If they apologize at all, it will be an inauthentic apology. They’ll say something like “I’m sorry you’re mad” instead of “I’m sorry I hurt you.” They might get sarcastic or belittle your feelings. People who are mature wont be threatened by others calling them out or expressing hurt feelings. Mature people can own their mistakes, apologize, learn from the experience, and move on to being a better person. If you’re mature, you value the people in your life more than your own ego. That means you’ll put your pride aside and admit when you were wrong if someone you care about is hurt.
- They’re anti-everything. This was something I experienced frequently in the days of junior high/high school. These people define themselves by everything they dislike. You never hear about their passions, or what makes them happy, or what inspires them. But they’ll be quick to let you know everything they stand against, everything that pisses them off, and everything that’s wrong with the world. They don’t compliment others, but have an arsenal of judgmental criticisms at the ready. They think positive people are lame or fake or annoying. They are rude and disrespectful in an attempt to look cool. They’re basically just constant negative energy generators. Once you mature, you realize that positivity is cool. It’s fun to enjoy life and the people who have the biggest impact on the world are those who are thankful, and inspired, and joyful. Random acts of kindness, smiling, laughing, being silly - we learn to appreciate these things over time.
- People who tell little (or big) lies about everything. Chances are, you know someone like this. They lie frequently, they lie about everything, they lie for no reason. Most of their lies are an attempt to make them look cooler or to get attention. They’ll say they grew up in the Bronx when they’re really from a suburban neighborhood in Connecticut. They’ll claim to have hooked up with 300 people when they’ve really slept with 3. They’ll say their family is wealthy and high society when really they’re just middle class. The lies they tell are dumb, and it’s pretty easy to see through them. Immature people are usually insecure people. They have low self esteem and haven’t found their own identity yet. They don’t have tools to foster self acceptance and confidence. So what do they do? Tell really dumb lies to convince everyone they’re not as lame as they feel inside.
- They’re obsessed with romantic relationships, love, dating, pornography, and sex. Being attracted to others and having a sex drive is all well and good. It’s a natural part of being a person. But typically speaking, you gain a more realistic approach to romance as you mature. Around the time humans hit puberty, we’re sex-crazed, lovesick slaves to our whacked out hormones. Around this age, it’s normal to be creepily focused on your infatuations. As we grow, however, you learn that love, sex, and romance isn’t all there is to life. You appreciate your platonic friends, your work, your hobbies, your goals, your personal development - having a partner, getting laid, and falling in love are all just added bonuses. If someone is well past puberty and still solely focused on romantic conquests, it’s usually a sign they’re a little behind the developmental milestone.
- They’re an attention seeker. In a way, this goes along with never wanting to be alone. They’re deeply insecure and require constant reassurance from the people around them. They have to be the loudest and the most outrageous. They have to look the best or wear the most eye-catching outfits. They’ll talk over you, and constantly talk about themselves. They’re thirsty, and always seeking out compliments or praise. They are deeply affected by someone disliking them. They’re status and image obsessed.
- Finally - they’re constant drama. These people can never have a day, or even a moment, of peace. You may not know why when you first meet them, but they always seem to be involved in some crazy situation or crisis or fight. You may even feel bad for them at first, because they seem like the victim of constant persecution from every side. But as you get to know them, you see the ways they stir the pot. They sniff out drama and problems even when there’s nothing wrong. They pick fights, pit people against each other, talk behind people’s backs. They gossip or make nasty assumptions. They can’t let things go, or walk away from confrontation. They view everything that happens as a personal attack, and can’t seem to see a situation from another’s point of view. They thrive in chaos, they’re addicted to it. It gets them attention and distracts them from how bad they feel about themselves.
Saturday, 18 April 2020
What are some signs of an immature person that some people don't see?
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